{You can read the Intro to the Working-Mom Series here}
I would like to introduce you all to Brenda.
I met her only recently, but already think she is incredible!
Brenda and I are both part of the MBA Spouses Association. That's right. Us spouses have our own club.
And it's awesome ( but I'll save that for another post).
She has three young children, her own graphic design business, and consistently writes on her personal blog...all while her husband is a busy MBA student.
You can probably understand why I think she's incredible, right?!
You can read more about Brenda and her graphic design business here
Brenda:
What inspired you to start your own business after having kids?
I have always loved creating. After I had my first baby, I felt like a part of me was missing. All my time was spent on my baby and my home. There was little time spent on my hobbies and that was really tough on me. My husband and I decided that it would be good for me to take some classes and refine my techniques in graphic design. I loved it so much that we decided to turn it into a business. It wasn’t a decision that was taken lightly as my first “job” was that of a mother. But for my sanity’s sake and my family, dedicating some of my time to something other than my home and family was the best decision for us.
What has been the easiest part of keeping up with the demands of work and family?
I happen to have the most supportive husband in the world that believes in me and believes in my talents. We have set up a time (naptime) that is “work” time and if the kids wake up early and he is home, he will take care of them. He also helps me a lot with the business aspect of my small business. I am a creative and don’t always think in a business savvy way but he steps in and tries to help me get the best benefits. Having a supportive person or people in your lives really makes a difference. My husband understands that sometimes I cannot get to certain chores and he’ll just get them done or we’ll do them after the kids are in bed. It isn’t always so cut and dry and we’ve struggled in finding the right balance but the important thing is that we are both trying to make it work.
What has been the hardest part of keeping up with the demands of work and family?
The hardest time for me is knowing when to stop: stop work and start being a mom. My mind still races after I am done with work and need to be in “mommy mode.” Sometimes I don’t finish all the work I need to do because my kids wake up early from their naps or I really need to get some cleaning done. My responsibilities as a mother and wife are sometimes viewed as an interruption to my work but I have had to work really hard to remember what my first and most important job is. The most awful times I have experienced is when I let myself think my kids are a burden. When I let myself think like that it seems like things backfire or go wrong and my life is unbalanced. In reality, my kids aren’t a burden. They are often the inspiration to much of the work I do. But I let these awful ideas creep into my mind that not only harm me and my family but my work as well.
What are your current childcare arrangements and how do you feel about them?
I really only work when my children are sleeping. I have major guilt issues if I work while they are awake. Sometimes I have to work for a little bit while they are awake and I just put some papers out and give them crayons and watercolor paints and let them go at it. Other times I will have my baby on my lap while I work. And if I am really lucky, my husband watches them if he doesn’t have any classes or meetings. I don’t think I am ready to get professional child care for my kids. I have yet to overcome the “mommy guilt” associated with being a working mom even though I don’t think there should be.
If you had to pick one trick or tip that helps you make it all work, what would it be?
Everyone has to be on board and willing to help. Even though my kids don’t see me work that often, they do know mommy has to work sometimes. They aren’t always cooperative when I do have to work but they see that I do have to work and learn to entertain themselves and help each other for a short time. Some people seem to have it all figured out and balance work and home, but I don’t. I am constantly evaluating and reevaluating what I am doing as a business owner, a mother and a wife. It’s ok to not have it all figured out or to have everything perfectly balanced. Some days call for more family time and other days I have deadlines to meet. When my family understands that some days I can’t make dinner and we need to get pizza, the pressure is off. And who doesn’t love pizza??
Thank you so much to Brenda for taking time out of her busy schedule to share her thoughts with us!
Her words are a great reminder that it's okay to not have everything perfectly figured out when it comes to balancing work and family. It really is a work in progress.
You can check out Brenda's website at: http://www.brendabirddesigns.com/
Her blog at: http://www.brendabirddesigns.com/blog/
And her Etsy shop at: http://www.brendabirddesigns.com/shop/
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